The Year in Review

It's just five days til Christmas and 11 days til the end of 2010. As I sit here pondering when I am going to finish (or, more accurately, start) my Christmas shopping, it continues to baffle me how quickly the time goes. It seems like just days ago I was sitting in a hotel with three of my girlfriends counting down to midnight of the new year. I didn't know then that 2010 would be one of the most difficult years of my life. I also didn't know that I'd learn so much.

Twenty-ten started out on a high note. I graduated from college, finished student teaching, and felt like I had the world ahead of me. I had a sense of freedom that was exhilarating but would soon come crashing down. No one ever tells you that plans rarely go as you want them to and that some goals, heartbreaking as it is, aren't reached. If my plans had gone as expected, I would be living on the west coast, working a job that probably didn't earn me a liveable wage, and trying to be something new. In short, I just wanted to go. I didn't know what I was looking for. Maybe I was just hoping to prove to someone, anyone that I could make it on my own and that I was brave enough to handle the world. Well, as you've read, my life turned out quite the opposite. I ran, alright, straight back to the safety net of my hometown and parent's house. I couldn't handle the world. I couldn't handle being unemployed and lonely and filled with doubt, so I came back to my roots to start over and try again. There's a certain grieving process that you have to go through when you realize that what you want and what is best for you aren't necessarily the same thing. At my lowest point when I realized that I had no money, no clue what I wanted, and no more energy to try and figure it out, I had to set aside my pride and ask for help. I grieved my independence but gained some peace of mind that, frankly, turned out to be a better alternative.

In spite of the rough stuff of 2010, some good things came of the year. I watched several people close to me get married, many more become engaged, and celebrated graduations and new jobs of close friends and family. I received my first post-graduate job that pays crap, offers zero benefits, and gives me more joy and satisfaction than I can ever remember having. I was given opportunities to tap into unknown skills (namely, writing) that will hopefully lead to great things. In moving home, I restablished some faded friendships, grew even closer to my parents, and learned that I don't have to have all the answers right now. The answers I do have are these:

1. Make time to see friends. They always make everything better.
2. When life gets tough, a little parental TLC goes a long way.
3. Get involved in anything. Staying busy = less time to feel sorry for yourself.
4. Do something good for someone. It's a selfish act because it will always make you feel better.
5. Surround yourself with people and things that make you happy. 'Nough said.

I have no idea what 2011 will bring, but I have an inkling it will be a good year. It's hard growing up, but you can either run from it or grab it by the balls and do what you need to do to get by. I'm hoping that a year from now, you'll find me right where I am now: employed, surrounded by loved ones, and happy (just maybe in a bigger city).

Love to you all, and thanks for being part of my happiness.